The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation

* I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
* Me? I've never busted minimums.
* We will be on time, maybe even early.
* Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
* I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
* I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
* All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
* I'm a member of the mile high club.
* I only need glasses for reading.
* I broke out right at minimums.
* The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
* Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.
* If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
* I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
* We shipped the part yesterday.
* I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.
* All you have to do is follow the book.
* This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
* We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
* Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
* I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
* No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
* Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?
* We'll be home by lunchtime.
* Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
* I'm always glad to see the FAA.
* We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.
* It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?
* I thought YOU took care of that.
* I've got the field in sight.
* I've got the traffic in sight.
* Of course I know where we are.
* I'm SURE the gear was down.